Musing On: Writing

(This is a post that originally appeared on the now-defunct blog, A Winter Writer.)

This discussion is about the writing process and what happens when we finish our writing – if one can EVER finish one’s writing.

I had never considered myself a writer. Sure, I’m a SONG-writer, but writing songs is different. Personally, I think I have a knack for writing with sounds, but when it comes to writing with words, I can get flustered. In the back of my mind, there’s always that little devil saying that my writing isn’t good enough and that it’s not going to get me anywhere.

But the second I start reading some of my older stories (i.e. some of the ones I wrote a few NaNoWriMo’s ago), I get swept back to that time period. I recall the books I read, the feelings I had when writing my stories, the rush of adrenaline I had when I would do writing sprints with other local writers. It was pretty awesome. Then the month finished and I went on my merry way, writing here and there, but by December I had abandoned my writing.

When this past November’s event has come up, I wasn’t planning to participate. Again, there was that little devil in my head asking me why I would bother when it’s not going to get me anywhere. I have to ask myself, what if I tried to let my writing take me somewhere? What if I actually showed it to someone? What if I worked on it and worked on it until I had something that made me proud?

When I think back, I know that I have songs that make me very happy — songs that surprised even ME when I listened back to them. I could listen to a few of my songs from my last album, Wild Birds, over and over again and they still bring tears to my eyes (these songs are Wild Birds and Dinner for One, in case you wanted to know). Could writing stories bring the same feelings?

We all have hesitations, and if you’re reading this, you’re probably also a book blogger. Being a book blogger AND a writer is enough to make me very wary of the occupation. I love the idea of crafting stories and the idea of sharing them with the world, but while I might be strong enough to hear backlash for my musical creations (because it DOES happen), I’m not sure if I’m strong enough to hear backlash about my stories. But backlash is GOOD. Criticism is GOOD. It’s healthy and it’s a way to let us grow as writers.

While I might not write every day, it makes me happy to think that I could be one of those people. Whether it’s writing a song, writing a poem, writing a short story, or writing that novel – every little bit counts and every little bit hones the craft.

I think a lot of my trepidation towards writing lies in the following:

1. If I enjoy writing, I feel like I must share it (because why should I keep it to myself?).
2. If I share it, I know I’ll have to have people read it.
3. Having people read my stories TERRIFIES me, but I’m always happy to have them listen to my music (so how is it different?).
4. The fear of people saying, “Hmm. Why don’t you do it this way?” also terrifies me because I’ve always marched to my own drum with song-writing and feel like I could be very much against change.
5. What if I write something and love it, and someone else reads it and loves it, and I want to share it with people. What do I do?
6. Do people like book bloggers who are writers? Should a person blog about books if they write books or stories?
7. What if you write and write and write and write and it never leads anywhere? Do I want to be alone in my head?
8. Do I have the strength to be a “real” writer? Am I doing this for fun? Am I doing this for serious?
9. If I do it for fun, do I have to keep the words to myself?
10. Will there always be questions?

Any occupation is scary. Even if you write just for yourself, it’s scary because you can put together words that are so powerful that you’ll wonder where they came from. That’s the beauty of words. I think that we all have the power to write something that moves people. In the end, I’d like for writing to be something I can stick with. I think if I found a group of people to write with — a group that motivates one another — it could be very enjoyable.

Do you consider yourself a writer? What do you write? WHY do you write? Do you share your works with people, or are they strictly for your own enjoyment?